So I know I promised a story about my depression and anxiety. But I needed to tell my story before I ended up with it. So here is my story. (I guess I have to tell it sooner than later).
Where to start, I first met my sperm donor back in 2010. I had just broken up with my ex of 2 years and I met him online. We would go on dates and hang out but we were never official. To me then he was just someone to get my mind of my ex, a rebound I guess you could say. Well a few months went by and I barely talked to him. So I though ok I’ll never see him again. Well that was not the case.
Over the next few years we would hook up and talk on and off. Until about 2012 I finally got my own place with my sister. I had no one to tie me down and we would party almost every weekend. So of course I would get drunk and call him. A few months later I found out I was pregnant. I had also found out he had a girlfriend who he apparently broke up with. I didn’t want to tell him I was pregnant. I held it off for so long. Until I was about 7 or so months along I finally told him. That’s when I found out he moved to New York.
Jumping to March 27th, 2013, I had my beautiful babygirl. And I swear to you she looked like he had given birth to her. There was no denying my princess. So of course I debated a couple days on telling him again. But I ended up sending him a picture. And at the time he seemed so excited. Yeah that was a major fail. He didn’t come back until my daughter was 3 or 4 months. And even then he was barely around. So until about the age of 3 he was pretty much in and out of our lives. He even got another girl pregnant.
So jumping again to when kyleigh was 3, that’s when we pretty much started to make it official. We lived together and things started to look up I thought we would be a happy family for once. Yet again I was wrong. I found out I was pregnant again and things just want down hill. We started arguing a lot so finally he left. (He likes to run when things get tough) Once he left is when my depression kicked in and we didn’t hear from him for awhile.
So March 28th 2017, I had my handsome son. And can you guess who came back around. Yep the sperm donor did. My stupid self let him back in thinking oh well he’s changed let’s give it another go. Things were going good. He had a job and was helping me with the baby and bills. We would go out on dates. Things he never did before. So of course in my head I’m like omg is this it are we finally going to be a family.
After my 6 weeks I went back to work. He would drop me off at work and then he would go to work. I met the new girl at work and we instantly hit it off. We would hang out whether it was a bar or at my house. The first time she came to my house the sperm donor started acting different. He just wasn’t in it anymore. He would always make excuses to leave and do something. Until June of 2017 he left without a trace and later finding out he was with the girl I use to work with. I was devastated. Though by this time I wasn’t hurt as much by him, it was the fact that I trusted this girl and become so close with for her to just take him.
To this day as I’m writing this it’s been a little over a year and a half and I only heard from him once. Before as a single mom I just was so scared how am I going to do this. And then after my second and he left I was even more scared. I barely could make it with one. How am I going to do it with two. But now I can proudly say it has definitely gotten easier. And that we don’t need him. Eventually I will find that guy that will love me unconditionally but right now it’s me and my kids living life to the fullest.
Thank you so much for reading my stories and I hope to keep seeing you guys. 😘
Raising My Tribe 